It’s a beautiful July morning here in NW Ohio where we buckle up for another edition of Thursday Screencaps which includes not-so-shocking news from Hooters.
While we were all focused on the World Cup, America 250 and enjoying our summer breaks, the breastaurant quietly closed a number of stores in LIB states where the purple hairs run pop culture.
According to MassLive, Hooters has now closed its operations in Massachusetts where the final store closed in June. Around the same time, Hooters also closed up its final New York location after closing New York City stores earlier this year.
• Minnesota
• Connecticut
• Massachusetts
• New York
Meanwhile, in LIB-controlled Michigan, one store remains.
With beer consumption on the decline, to-go sports bar food business models thriving and a pivot to lesbian sports bars being all the rage, Hooters seems to be caught in a nightmare situation, especially in states under full LIB control.
So what’s the plan? In April, company leadership indicated there’s a Hooters movie coming and possible growth in the West to go along with the strong footprint it has in the free state of Florida.
What’s crystal-clear is that Hooters will likely never return to states run by angry members of the Alphabet Mafia. That ship has sailed.
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Speaking of brands that were left for dead, let’s check in with Cracker Barrel and dummy CEO Julie Masino. It was around this time last year when Masino’s team was quietly changing the look of the iconic company. They started by whitewashing stores and ripping out the fabric of what made people fall in love with the brand in the first place.
They made stores look like First Watch. And loyal customers were furious. Masino followed that up with an August media blitz right before the NFL season that turned out to be one of the dumbest marketing moves since Bud Light.
Now? MSNBC is hailing Julie as a hero for helping the company rebound…to nearly where the stock was at before the August mess. You can’t make this stuff up.
There’s new video from the Payne Valley golf cart incident
I golf with some real degenerates, but none of the guys I know have dunked a golf cart into a pond, especially off a cliff. I need to hear from these guys bad. The golf community is small. One of you has to know the guy who dunked the cart. I’m begging you, send me his phone number.
This is the nonsense you get from social media that people are dumb enough to believe
Ah yes, he just went on a generational run where the dealer pulled all the bust cards in head-to-head blackjack. If you believe this garbage, you deserve to lose your 401k at the casino. The chances of going on this run and pulling two 21s after splitting aces are astronomical.
How many times have you been on a run like this?
Should the United States marketing department reach out to the Euros to have them experience college football Saturdays?
– Alex in NC presents a strong idea: As awesome as it has been that all these fans from other countries have fallen in love with the USA, the fact that they are all going to miss the college football season experience is a true shame. Imagine them ant the Iron Bowl, tailgating at Ole Miss, a white out at penn state, osu vs Michigan Florida vs UGA, The red river shootout with OU and Texas in the cotton bowl. Any rivalry game and the energy around those stadiums would have blown their minds.
Readers continue to react to my athletic achievement
– Savannah Bob says: Probably one of many that are sending this, but that is a PAR 5!! Tap in PAR!!! Take the credit — well played hole.
– Jim Z in East Peoria, IL is back and complimenting my golf game: WOWZA!!!!! Great job there Mr. One-Take Kinsey!!! Very impressive. That 40 foot putt was truly amazing!!! And the shots leading to it were pretty darn good as well!!!
Congrats on the baseball win last night. Sounds like, regardless of what happens, you’ve ended up in a good place with your group this year.
Completely unhinged nonsense that modern moms post on social media
– Britt emails: My wife showed this post to me from a neighborhood group. I haven’t stopped laughing yet, but the truth is this is how many younger people think and live in this country and I hope I’m not around when they get control.
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Hey neighbors, I’m looking for a babysitter (for just occasional times here and there) but fair warning: we are veeerry particular My daughter really needs to trust someone before she’ll feel comfortable with them, so before any real babysitting happens we’d want to spend real time together first. Playdates, hangouts, getting to know each other.
Our babysitter ends up feeling more like a trusted family friend. I’m looking for an adult with a lot of genuine experience with kids (not just babysitting younger siblings a few times), someone who gets nervous system-aware, connection-based parenting. Montessori, RIE, conscious parenting vibes. Down to play pretend, do crafts, read a million books, follow a child’s lead.
Able to stay calm and grounded when things get big: tears, frustration, resistance, without shutting it down or powering through. Someone who works WITH a child rather than over them. My daughter does best with low-pressure, collaborative energy and someone who offers choices rather than commands. If this sounds like you or someone you know, please reach out!
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Kinsey: What are the chances the mom used AI to create that message? 74% chance? More? I’ll tell you this, her husband either needs a blowout golf trip BAD or he’s a giant pussy who is going to wake up one day and wonder why he let this maniac ruin his life.
Pulse check: Are your kids watching sports on TV?
– Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston checks in: You’ve said your baseball boys don’t watch MLB baseball games… some probably watch the highlights on social media. Ask them if they watched the USA vs Belgium World Cup game. I suspect many of them did. And one more… talk to them about the MLB all star game next week. Back when my son played most of the boys didn’t watch regular season games, but many of them watched the home run derby & the all star game. You might poll yours and see what you get.
Kinsey: My kids watched more World Cup than they have MLB in the last two months because I’ve had it on more. Granted, they’ve been outside a ton this summer. YouTube will show them MLB ASG clips that they’ll watch, I’m sure. Honestly, I could get rid of our TVs and I’m not sure they’d notice for a few days.
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And with that, I’m out this morning. I have Zooms to hop on, Facebook posts to post and things to get done at this job that I’m incredibly fortunate to have. We’re quickly closing in on my 20th anniversary of cashing checks on the Internet. That is bizarre to even think about.
Let’s get after it.
