My dog got another rabbit.
I swear, guys, it is a constant battle around here. I live in the suburbs, just south of Nashville, and the population of Eastern Cottontail hopping around my neighborhood is out of control.
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You know that phrase “f—ing like rabbits?”
Well, it makes sense. Because these little bastards reproduce at an alarming rate. They are everywhere. Thank goodness I don’t have a garden. It would just be an all-bunny-can-eat café. And in the spring and summer, we’re constantly scanning the property looking for new nests.
Not because we aren’t willing to share our yard with rabbits. But because our German Shepherd happens to think rabbits are tasty.
Basically, this is him all day:
Up until this morning, I’ve managed to keep the rabbits safe, for the most part. Sure, Rocky fixates on them from his favorite couch spot near the window, but he’s only ever snagged one that I know of. That was about a year ago when I caught him with a furry leg sticking out of his mouth on the back deck.
But today I strolled outside with my coffee to find Rocky staring fixedly into the fire pit. I knew there must be a critter in there. But before I could call him off, a tiny baby bunny popped out between the bricks, and Rocky snatched it up instantly. As I hollered for him to drop it, I heard a loud squeak. Then he dropped it into the grass and came back to the house.
S—.
I closed the door and waited for my husband to wake up and take care of it. I’m not really a strict gender roles kind of gal. But when it comes to removing dead wildlife from the yard, that’s a man’s job, baby.
Now, I just gotta figure out what we’re going to do with the tiny rabbit still hiding out in the fire pit.
You know, the crazy thing is, Rocky is uber friendly with other dogs. He gets along with every dog he’s ever met — even pocket-sized Chihuahuas. But when it comes to rabbits and squirrels, he’s a heartless killer. It’s weird how dogs know the difference.
And now after that uplifting tale, who’s ready for some Nightcaps? Pour one out for Peter Cottontail and let’s get going.
Glory, hallelujah.
Look, I know the Knicks are probably going to end up winning the championship. But as a Pacers fan (and, therefore, a certified Knicks hater) I take joy in watching their 13-game win streak snapped and every celebrity celebrity row spending tens of thousands of dollars to watch them take an L. The fact that they may not get to hoist the trophy at Madison Square Garden adds an extra bit of sweetness.
Talk about some sore losers, though.
Sheesh.
If you are a Knicks fan, though, may I suggest some (possible) championship gear for the special lady in your life?
Apparently this particular ensemble was inspired by something the brand’s founder spotted in Kylie Jenner’s luggage that she posted on her Instagram story. (Don’t ask me, I just work here.) And now, Karl-Anthony Towns’ fiancée, Jordyn Woods, has his number embroidered on her blue and orange panties.
By the way, brilliant idea for Sydney Sweeney’s SYRN lingerie line: football-themed matching sets. Nothing tacky with a bunch of logos or anything! But just some lacy bras and panties (à la the example above) featuring color combos of NFL teams and maybe some college, too — just in time for Fall. Get a few WAGs to model, and boom. A gazillion dollars.
And then be sure to hook me up with some Miami Dolphins swag, Sydney.
I’ll still be sad every Sunday, but at least I’ll look hot.
While we’re on the topic of WAGs, I have to discuss the rumors circulating about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s upcoming nuptials.
Right now, it’s being reported that the two will get married over Fourth of July weekend at …Madison Square Garden.
You have to be kidding me.
Listen, let me start by saying my wedding was an amazing and beautiful and perfect day surrounded by all my favorite people. I’d relive it a thousand times if I could. (The next day was a different story. You can read about that on your own time.)
BUT — If I had an unlimited budget like Taylor Swift does, man, some things would have been different. My husband and I would have said “I do” in front of a majestic mountain backdrop with an elegant flower display and champagne fountains. And I’m not talking headache-inducing André bubbles, either. I would rent out a stunning mountain lodge where all most closest friends and family (and their dogs) could stay for the week. I’d tip the staff the equivalent of their monthly income, and my guests would have the vacation of a lifetime. Live performance of “I Cross My Heart” by George Strait for the first dance? I mean, why not?
I can think of endless things I would do — if money were no object — for my wedding. But not one of them involves getting married in an ugly ass basketball arena in the middle of New York City.
No disrespect to MSG. Obviously, it’s iconic in the world of sports and entertainment. But you mean to tell me TAYLOR SWIFT wants sticky folding seats and pumpable nacho cheese… at her WEDDING?
I simply cannot believe this is real. It’s just a misdirection to send the paparazzi on a wild goose chase through New York City while Taylor and Travis tie the knot somewhere serene and beautiful. It has to be.
This did make me laugh, though:
I can’t wait until Taylor is reciting Shakespeare in her vows and Travis is quoting Dr. Seuss. It’s going to be incredible.
When her album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” came out with “Fate of Ophelia” on the track list, all I could think about was her singing that song for the first time to Travis. He was probably like, “Oh my God, that’s so great babe, I love it.”
And then he pulls out his phone and types into Google, Who is Ophelia?
I’m just joshing. I’m sure Taylor loves Trav no matter what and that she’s excited for the wedding — that is, if Jenna Sims doesn’t get to him first.
I suppose I should be more specific.
There’s a tourist from Germany who is in the United States for the World Cup. He’s currently driving through the Southeast and discovering everything that’s great about our country — like Waffle House, Chili’s and Walmart. Oh, and those machines where you can add any flavor you want into your soda.
But what really makes my heart sing — as an outdoorswoman — is that he’s discovering why we love it so much down here in Tennessee. And Georgia.
It makes me (literally) LOL that an actual German found Helen, Georgia. If you know, you know.
Only one feat left to conquer now…
Let’s open the mailbag.
📩 Email: amber.harding@outkick.com (Send your thoughts, stories, tips, rants and photos of your dog.)
🐦 Twitter/X: @TheAmberHarding
📸 Instagram: @amberharding
Almost a year ago, I told my Nightcaps readers about a little joint in Minocqua, Wisconsin, called Minocqua Brewing Company. It’s an unapologetically far-left brewery with “Antifa Parking Only” signs in the parking lot and
Out of sheer morbid curiosity, my husband and I ventured in there during our annual Wisconsin visit last summer. You can read about that wild experience here.
Anyway, this owner of the establishment, Kirk Bangstad, is a real piece of work. He’s always at war with the city and other local businesses, and he’s been charged with multiple legal offenses, including criminal defamation, harassment, bail jumping, disorderly conduct, and (last but not least) defrauding donors to his super PAC by funneling thousands of dollars to himself to pay for his legal fees.
This dude is such a turd he even named one of his beers after his lawyer. It has the guy’s face on the can and everything.
Dean S. in Fond du Lac, Wisc., Writes: I don’t know if you have heard this – the owner of Minocqua Brewing Co., is attempting to run for governor of Wisconsin as a Democrat. The attached link is a news story from yesterday about Kirk Bangstad running into issues with the signatures on his nomination papers. There is a boatload of people who have announced that they are running for governor as a Democrat. Personally, I don’t thing ol’ Kirk has a chance, even if he gets this “misunderstanding” resolved and makes it into the primary. I recall your column from last summer when you had visited with your mother-in-law at her summer home in Minocqua and you went down to Kirk’s establishment. If you are able to come back to northern Wisconsin this summer, I hope the weather is good for you and the mosquitos and ticks non-existent.
Amber:
We’ll be back in Minocqua to visit my mother-in-law in a few weeks. If we happen to be there over Independence Day, I’ll be sure to wish Kirk a happy America 250. (Especially if he tries to hijack the 4th of July parade again.)
Caitlin R. Writes: So I actually love Luke Bryan, but your rant was funny. And then I saw this on TikTok. 😂
Jon C. Writes: A hike at Frozen Head State Park a couple falls ago with our 2 adventurous “lap dogs.”
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
